Thursday, June 10, 2010

The letter

I just wrote him a letter. It is 4 in the morning.. I have spent close to 6 hours writing Bob a letter that I plan on giving him if I move.. Which is getting more likely everyday. If I don't move however, I going to have to edit it a bit.
Honestly though I feel a bit better. What really broke me down though was reading aloud with "The Scientist" by Coldplay as my backround music. I actually cried just a bit.. That songs fits pretty well and the actual sound it has is very moving, so that plus a handwritten letter reading equals an emotional me. See in my head he had the letter and was reading it but I was saying everything aloud like in a movie. Also, like in a movie you would see images of him movie and then images of me getting on a plane and flying away to Alaska. It was pretty dramatic haha.
If you're ever irratated at someone try writing them a not telling them how you feel. You don't have to actually give it to them like I'm going to do. Instead of giving them the letter you could burn it, rip it, shred it, flush it down the toilet, whatever suits your fancy.
Ahh I feel so much better (:

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I officially hope that I end up moving.

Okay, I went to this observatory place.. I guess 2 nights ago now, and so it inspired me and I was going to talk about that. Well things change. I just finished watching Dear John, so like any normal girl who has seen that movie I am not very "stable" at this particular moment. It kind of got me thinking though.. In parts.. It reminded me somewhat of what I dealt with/ am dealing with/ will be dealing with. No, Bob didn't get married, but it's funny cause I did find out he is interested in one of my close friends. Yeah... Super.
It has been months since I have used my myspace account and for some unknown reason I decided to check it tonight. So, I'm looking at everyone's updates and it's talking about how he really likes her.. Like I said, after watching that movie I am in no condition to put up with his junk. I have to see this kid everyday, sometimes twice a day, when school starts back up. Should be fun.
I can't deal with him anymore. The only way I'm going to survive next year is with as little contact with him as possible. He seems to think that we're still bestest buds.. HA! right because nothing at all has happened in the past month. Hmph!
Ugh! I'm just so frustrated! I've already imagined a few Alaskan senarios.. I'll probably just end up being disappointed, but I don't care. Anything there is bound to be better than this.
Goodnight bloggers.

Forever and Always

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Thinking Again

I'm a very strong believer in purpose. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, and there's a reason why we meet the people that you do. There are some people though that completely baffle me.. I try to find a reason, but it's not easy.. It's one of those things where I just want to look up to the sky and shout, "Really? Was that really necessary?"
Have you ever wanted to do that. Have you actually done that before?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Is it just me... or do they look like the same person...
I know they are not, because that version of Romeo and Juliet was filmed in 1968, but still.. the resemblance is a tad crazy.
Who know, maybe I'm the crazy one for thinking they look alike. haha Oh well. :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

25 Things!

Okay, so I found this on The Life of an Insomniac blog and I never pass up a good dare. ;)
Let's get started shall we?

  1. I hate things that are flavored grape or cherry, but I love eating the fruit.
  2. If I had to eat one thing forever it would be pasta. I love Italian food! I guess it's because I'm like 45% Italian.
  3. I love the rain and I love thunderstorms! It calms me.
  4. I only watch one hour of cable a week and that hour is my Glee time.
  5. I am a tea freak. Not iced tea, hot herbal teas and such.
  6. The Phantom from the 1925 version of Phantom of the Opera and clowns scare me..
  7. l love just about any shade of blue.
  8. My favorite number is 13 and that is how many letters are in my first and last name combined.
  9. I would love to go to Merton College in Oxford
  10. My dream is to be Galinda or Glinda in Wicked.
  11. I don't really like Starbucks that much.. Jitters is pretty decent though
  12. I'm a sucker for guys who are musically inclined.
  13. I am a perfectionist, and my friends think I'm CDO (OCD in alphabetical order)
  14. I love shiny things.... a lot.
  15. I was a girl scout up until this past year
  16. I am CPR certified by the American Red Cross
  17. I am a blonde that tans easily and has blue eyes. I love my eyes! haha
  18. Audrey Hepburn is AMAZING and I am a HUGE fan. My grandmother told me that I kind of looked like a blonde version of her and so I looked her up and it was love at first sight. I actually met my best friend ever because of her. How to Steal a Million was cute! (:
  19. I can be pretty emotional, but I care deeply for others. Whenever I have taken a career survey thingy, a counselor or physiologist is always in the top 5. I love helping other people, it makes me happy. My love for pleasing others though is what usually gets me hurt.
  20. I don't really have a religion.. my family just never took me and my sisters to church. I do believe in certain things and what I do believe, I believe very strongly in.
  21. I am a klutz.. I will trip over anything and everything.
  22. I never swear.. at all. The words just won't come out of my mouth.. it's like there's a Great Wall of China in my mind that prevents the words from leaving. I can't even type the words...
  23. I fall in love easily and I fall hard
  24. Music is the only reason I don't go insane.
  25. I don't like violence and wars... but I understand that it is necessary
Now that you know my 25 things, it is your turn to do the same if you haven't already.
It's kind of fun and I dare you to do it. :P

Share Random thoughts... Check!


Yep, you guessed it, this blog has no purpose at all. haha I'm just laying in my bed with my laptop now burning my legs listening to I should really find something to replace my thighs.. not a very pleasant temperature.

There that's better. (: Thank goodness for whatever this board thingy is. Ahh how I love laying in bed and thinking before I drift off to Dreamland. Well.. actually I don't dream very often and when I do, it's very odd. Last night for example I was at a softball game when this supposed serial killer tells me that I am pregnant and walks away.. I go to the doctor that night, and what do you know, I am... Thank goodness I woke up after that. See! I told you, weird! Ha! Don't even get me started on the dream that I had a few months ago with the dancing, singing pencils.. Why can't I have normal dreams? What would a normal dream be? They're all pretty odd right?

La la la! I think I'll go swimming tomorrow.. if I have time. I have a bunch to do, and none of it is very fun. I have to clean and pack because the family and I are leaving for Arizona early Saturday morning. I'll get to swim there though for sure, so that's always good. Maybe there will be more kids there this year.. We rent out this house that is what is for the most part a retirement neighborhood for the more wealthy old people that like to golf. Of all the places to stay in Arizona... There are never any people anywhere near my age around, and that means no pool distractions. :( Sigh...

I really want a cookie right now.. Chocolate chip.. or maybe one with the butterscotch morsels.. mmmm... yummy.
Oh my Gosh!!
I just heard the scariest freaking sound in my entire life.. It was like the sound a car's brakes make on wet pavement, but higher pitched.. and then after the screech it just kept making this beeping sound... I'm kind of freaked out..
Okay, so I just went to investigate the hallway (and turn on a few lights) and there isn't anything there..
Well, duh there isn't anything there. What would be there? Besides the noise sounded like it was above me..
There it is again.. it keeps beeping... I'll be right back.
The game room light is on... and I didn't turn it on. I don't like this at all! Ugh! I am easily scared as it, I don't need to deal with this sort of thing. :(

I'm going to go wake up my sister now...
I blog again tomorrow...if I'm still here.


When analyzing a song it is always important to look at the title. Most artists and bands give their songs the titles that they have for specific reasons whether it’s mentioned somewhere in the song or something a bit deeper. At first glance it would appear that “Iris” is just a random title that has nothing to do with the song, but that’s not the case. Iris’s are beautiful, but very poisonous, flowers much like love. In love there are times where everything is pure perfection and romance, and other times where something dreadful happens and pain slowly spreads and eventually “kills” a person. The other theory is that the band picked the name as a reference to the camera technique. The “iris” effect is where the diaphragm of the camera will block out everything except what is being focused on, and this effect is also similar to how a person feels when they are in love. Both ideas are probable, and how a person interprets it is entirely up to them.

And I’d give up forever to touch you,

Cause I know that you feel the same now.

You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be,

And I don’t want to go home right now.

The first quatrain is set-up in an ABCB rhyme scheme and contains an identical rhyme. The diction is basic, but the emotion given off just in this first verse is exceptional. Throughout the intro the instruments are hushed and minimal which gives makes the listener more attentive as if they were listening to a secret. In City of Angels Seth, an angel played by Nicolas Cage, is witnessed by Maggie, a beautiful heart surgeon played by Meg Ryan, and eventually ends up falling in love with her. The entire first verse simply explains what Cage’s character would do, and eventually does do for this girl. This guy would give up everything he has worked for over the years just to be able to touch and smell her, and he would rather spend a normal mortal life with her than live forever unable to love her as an angel.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe your life

Because sooner or later it’s over

I just don’t want to miss you tonight.

The rhyme scheme for the second quatrain of the song changes from an ABCB to ABCD. This verse of the song, because the words do not rhyme, changed the song to more of a free verse poem. Even though the pattern of the song is altered, the melodies of the song remain identical. The listeners still are still given the same feelings of urgency, importance as a continuation of what was experienced during the first verse. This stanza or verse is basically reiterating the fact of how much this guy likes this girl. Seth becomes so obsessed with Maggie that “all [he] can taste is [that] moment and all [he] can breathe is [her] life.” Cage’s character has made Maggie such an necessity in his life that she has become just as important as food and water and the first two lines show that idea. The second half of that stanza goes on to say that what they have won’t last forever, and that nothing lasts forever, but that he doesn’t want to think about that right just then. Instead, he insists that all he wants to do is just enjoy the time that they have together while they have it.

And I don’t want the world to see me

Because I don’t think that they’d understand

When everything’s made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

The third quatrain is repeated multiple times throughout the song which tells us that it has great importance. The rhyme scheme for this section can be considered ABCB because of the assonant rhyme used. Another clue that lets the listener know that this stanza is significant is that everything in the song gets louder and becomes more powerful rather rapidly. When analyzing the chorus with the actual movie finding the meanings are simpler. As an angel Seth can control who does and doesn’t see him, and obviously most people would not be able to understand what he is and what he does. After meeting Maggie however all he wants to be able to do is show her the real him during both good and bad times.

However, on a deeper level, the first half of the chorus could basically sum up several people’s lives. “I don’t want the world to see me/Because I don’t think that they’d understand.” Those first two lines can be interpreted as a person not showing anybody they’re true identity in fear that they would not be accepted. Instead they choose to hide behind fake alibis that are copied from other people and then compiled into one single mask. Those first two lines are about wishing that there was just one person that you could show the real you to, and finally finding that person and then either losing the nerve or the opportunity to come clean.

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

And you bleed just to know you’re alive

This fourth quatrain continues the rhyme scheme pattern of ABCB and the usage of assonant rhyming words. The words lies and alive do not rhyme perfectly with each other but they have similar vowels that do rhyme. Immediately after the chorus is finished it goes back to the muted and calm acoustic sound from the beginning. This section of the song would describe the moment in the movie when Meg Ryan’s character finally finds out that Seth is an angel and the truth becomes known. In the movie Maggie and Seth were making dinner and when Seth cut right through his finger nothing happened and it automatically healed. In that moment Cage’s character would have given anything just to bleed because that physical pain would have been easier than the emotional pain he had gone through and was about to go through again because of his situation with Maggie.

After another repeat of the powerful chorus there is an instrumental break in the song where the band allows the story to continue without words. The vocal resting period starts out at a mezzo forte volume with a brisk staccato pace that soon fades into a more of a legato mezzo piano that slowly builds and crescendos to a forte and then rapidly decrescendos to a piano and then to silence. The silence only lasts a moment but it allows you to breathe and get ready for two more repeats of the chorus and finally the repeat of the line “I just want you to know who I am” for four more lines. During the instrumental solo the feeling of urgency is given off yet again during the fast part and then when it starts to slow down and smoothen out a feeling of sorrow and desperation slips through to the listener. The whole segment of the song, although it doesn’t have any lyrics, is probably one of the most powerful parts of this particular song.

Iris is a beautiful song and it can mean so many different things to several different people. It can be interpreted as parting, loneliness, rejection, happiness, contentment, and so many other things, but one common factor between all of them is that they all boil down to love. In love there are no whys, how or where’s, there simply are no questions asked and you are just thankful you have it. I personally love this song because of its lyrical content and because occasionally this song will come on and it just feels like they’re narrating my life. This song means everything to me. Everything that I want and know, every emotion I feel is in this song. I can even begin to explain it, but it’s just how I feel, plain and simple. Many people around the world have been able to relate to this song for years now and people will continue to do so. Music is the way that we can express the otherwise inexpressible and Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls is the perfect example of that.

I really don't have much to do today so... this is what happens. hahaha great right? Silly musical person. (:
Don't worry I don't do that with all songs.. well I don't do the poetry part.. that was for class.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Summertime is Only one Short day Away!

(One of My hands for English)

It's 1:14am and I can't sleep, so I decided to blog. I could clean... and I probably should, but that isn't very interesting and can be done later tomorrow... or today? It's not like I have any homework to do. :) Speaking of homework. Last week I had to write a poem for English and I have decided that I want to post it. I thought it was pretty decent for someone with no writing abilities... my teacher liked it.

Dare to Dream

Newborn; so pure and innocent,

hands not yet soiled,
restrictions and rules nonexistent.
to Live.

Little Child; alone in the world
and yet surrounded by others,
looks to familiar stories for Desire.

Young Adult; always analyzing, reviewing, preparing.
legs not yet adjusted
to the vast world that surrounds them.
to Wonder.

Parent; protective, positive, and patient.
arms that hold on tight to the child
with so much in store.
to Wish.
Elder; wanting to turn back the clock,
to go back to their prime,
thinking back and moving forward.
to Remember.

Departed; leaving this place for the next.
knowing that they've been found,
and that theirs is a brighter world.
to Believe.
Live, Desire,
Wonder, Wish,
Remember, Believe,
to Dream.

Dare to Dream.
for it is the food of the mind, body, and soul.

Dare to Dream.
as it is the mind in a purer form.
nothing is impossible to the heart that hopes,
and the mind that does believe.
take my hand,
follow me, and just-

Dare to Dream.

So? Not too bad I hope. Don't be afraid to tell me what you think of it. :)

I realized that for awhile my blogs have been somewhat... whiny... haha sorry about that. I'm not usually, but I have to let it out at some point, you know?
Good News!
  1. It's finally summer vacation, which means..... NO SCHOOL TILL AUGUST!!!!
  2. I made both A Capella and Madrigals! (The two top choirs at our school)
  3. I'm finally a Sophomore! Yes! I'll kind of miss my goldfish title though.. :/ Aw well.
  4. I added color to my blog posts!!
Well it finally started raining, so maybe I can hopefully catch some ZzZz's. I have a bunch to do before the family and I leave for our vacationing. Goodnight!!

P.S. I promise to do something music related in the next post.